Throw out your bus pass, get them sit ups right, and check out the groupie’s guide to trap…we mean catch you a baller man!
With BET’s “The Game” one of the most popular shows on their network, we’re not surprised by the rise of “ho-fessionals” on the scence. For all of you attention whores fawking for tracks and looking to make it rain on them hoes with a baller by your side, check out this “groupies guide” to catching you a baller man at this year’s Superbowl!
1. Be Clean… We’re pretty sure most people (Ballers) want you not to smell like week old cabbage…Now we know your thinking, that’s common sense. But, CLEARLY it’s not some of the most notorious girls in Dallas has the smelliest **** in the world.
2.Have Patience… You must realize that a Baller has a lot of people to talk to. At least 2 baby mommas, his momma, his agent, his lawyer, 2 side-pieces, his wife or real girlfriend, his b**h boy (the homie who runs his errands), the possibility of you and countless other women he gave his # to. Learn to accept and cherish the little time you’re given.
3.Save the Drama… He does not want to hear about how your homegirl got too drunk to drive…Or that you used to talk to other ballers…Or that your car is being repoed… That your sitter can’t watch your kid…Or more importantly, how you “never did this before”. Just do it, like Nike get to it.
4.Bring Some Money… Please note, a lot of Ballers are fakers and get most of their money taken by baby momma and Sallie Mae so DON’T assume he’s super rich and you can leave your pocket book (purse) at home…BE MORE CAREFUL
5.Look the Part… Real BALLERS pay attention to what women are wearing. See, they have wives, mothers, girlfriends who buy expensive things all day. So the baller knows if you have on Forever 21 everything…You don’t really think you’re going to catch a man in Gucci shoes with jellies on do you? Save some $ buy a good purse, shoes and great dress.. NO CHEAP STUFF
6.NO THIRST… When you meet a Baller, he’s usually with other Ballers. DO NOT act overly excited to be there. Pretend like this is NOT your first rodeo. Playing hard to get just a little always intrigues a man who, constantly gets snatch thrown…But don’t over do it, this man is used to getting what he wants so he’ll lose interest if you are doing too much or to little.
7.DONT BE DUMB… Do NOT let this man screw you because he’s a Baller…we don’t care if he’s the finest thing you have ever seen. Unless he just drops major cash on you, Ballers have been known to get to the Galleria and purchase purses, shoes and jewelry during events like this. If your Baller buys you FOOD that does not count…
8.Watch Your Friends… Don’t let your friends steal your joy. If your mission is to meet a Baller and have a good time, make sure that’s your friend’s mission as well. Don’t bring Bessie from Bible study if she’s not ready to get down. There will subsequently be problems, she will be unadventurous and possibly put your business in the streets. Have other girls around, you can trust and who have the same goals as you.
9.Watch His A**… Don’t let him set you up for the okie doke…If he says he is going to do something, make sure he does. The first minute you let him get away with lying, disrespecting you or anything he will continue to do so. Nip it in the bud or leave him alone. Don’t get bamboozled, these fellas know you will be looking for them, so he will attempt to use you for the least.
10.Have Fun… Make the most of your time, if you meet a Baller…go with them to the club, save your money. Drink the liquor, eat the food and for the love of Kat Stacks don’t just get used!
While we’re not sure of the results these tips will produce, we’re confident that there are hoes on stand by, ready and waiting to make a kill… we mean catch!
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